


My Angel

by lanaboo222



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Maybe - Freeform, but i still like it?, it's quite nice, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 00:21:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanaboo222/pseuds/lanaboo222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing ever happens in the way they should, and something so simple as love had a tragic effect. The band that had once been at the highest peak of the top, was now buried deep down, soon to be joined by one of the members.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Angel

The flat was eerily quite, a ghost of laughter and happiness that had ebbed away remained on the walls and in the furnishings. It had once been a place full of loud obnoxious voices, music and cheerful inhabitants. Now it reeked of alcohol and denial and all things dark. The curtains were drawn and the doors were closed and behind the one at the end of the hall lying in the bed looking up at the ceiling in silence lay a boy, a boy full of love for another that was never meant to be. A boy whos world had fallen to pieces as he watched the world crumble around him. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He lay there listening to the world go past in a trance wondering when he would pull himself out enough to go to the boy he loved who was in the same state of shock as he was himself, worse in fact. But once again, there was nothing he could do about it, he’d have to wait until Louis came to him.

Time ticked on, and it was like a state of infinite perpetuity that could have passed in minutes or days, yet Harry didn’t know. Nor did he care. The band was sure to be ended now, there wasn’t enough time now there were only four of the band left, they’d spent so much time following the rules and trying to go far that they’d lost track of themselves and hadn’t bonded in so long that they were almost just colleges now, not the friends they’d been before management took over their soles. 

They’d been happy up until late January, then Harry ruined everything. He blamed himself solely for the disconnection of the boys. If he’d not confessed his dying love to Louis in the way he did, maybe things would be different. But nothing ever happens in the way they should, and something so simple as love had a tragic effect.

The band that had once been at the highest peak of the top, was now buried deep down, soon to be joined by one of the members.

Harry listened as the door creaked open down the hall and footsteps echoed along the corridor, he listened as they got closer to the door and wondered if today was the day that Louis would enter his room, or if he’d cower away like most days and run back to his own room.

The footsteps stopped outside his door and Harry listened as the stillness engulfed the flat, even more than the perpetual silence that had loomed over the place.

There was nothing, not for a while as if Louis were stood there staring at the door, scared of what he’d find on the other side. Harry sat up and looked at the door to see the shadow at the bottom of the door slowly fade as Louis dragged himself back to his own room.

This was when Harry took it upon himself to make the first move. Louis wasn’t strong enough. He needed to be guided.

He stood up slowly, and walked towards his door, he opened it slowly and walked down the corridor standing in the doorway of Louis room, watching Louis as he stood in the middle of his room, back turned to the door. Dressed only in one of Harrys large sweaters. He was staring at the window as if waiting for something. It was open allowing a breeze to drift in, Goosebumps covering Louis from head to toe.

The faint light of the sunrise, or was it sunset, shined into the room as the long curtains swayed lightly with the draft. And still Louis stood, unaware of Harrys watching eye.

“This shouldn’t have happened you know” He whispered, Harry started and gulped, maybe he was more aware than Harry realised. They’d always been able to sense each other, have conversations by mere expressions.

“No, it shouldn’t” he replied, his voice horse. He’d not spoken since that night.

“Noone should have been hurt” He shouted out of the window, hands balled into fists.

“It was an accident, no one could have seen it happening” Harry said in a hushed voice, as if trying to console the boy stood with his back to him.

“I wish I could turn back time sometimes, if I’d not been scared to say it, I fear none of this would have happened” Louis said his shoulders sagging. Legs giving way as he collapsed into a heap on the floor

“It’s not your fault, never” Harry said walking over to him “listen to me, hear me say, it was never your fault” 

He bent down and placed his hand on Louis shoulder. Louis shuddered and pulled his legs closer around him.

“I wish it’d been me instead, he didn’t deserve to die” He whispered into his knees 

“He didn’t” He shouted, a sob leaving his throat.

“No, don’t say that, don’t” Harry said shaking his head and burying his face into Louis neck

“It’s true, I should be the one having a funeral tomorrow. This is all my fault. Harry, I should have just told you I loved you when you confessed your feelings to me, but instead I was scared, I loved you so so much. Still do. But it’s too late”

“Louis” Harry whimpered into Louis neck

“I’m sorry” Louis sniffed

“I forgive you, Louis” 

“I love you, Harry” Louis sniffed into his arms

“I love you too” Harry said, standing up. He looked around the mess of the room, the bed that he’d slept in so often was untouched and a makeshift bed was made on the floor. It was obvious to Harry that Louis was very much broken and in need of fixing. 

He only hoped he’d be able to help.

Louis walked over to his laptop and seemed to be looking for something and as soon as he’d found it he put on a song and Harry smiled as he recognised it as the song he’d sung at his x-factor audition. Infact, it was him singing it. Louis smiled at the computer and stood up.

“I like this one” Louis muttered swaying to the music as the breeze whipped his hair. Harry smiled and walked over to Louis putting his hands on Louis waist and swaying with him, resting his chin on Louis shoulder.

The doorbell rang and Louis looked up, tearstained cheeks. Eyes trailing over Harry as he looked to the door. He walked over to his computer and turned the music off before he pulled on some trousers

“I suppose I’ll get that” he muttered to himself as he walked past Harry and towards the door, Harry trailing after him.

Louis opened the door and Zayn stood looking tense and not his usual groomed self. He looked scruffy and his eyes were drooping.

“Hey, so, Niall and I, we’re having a small little-“

“Zayn” Louis whimpered launching himself into the other boy. Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis and held him tight looking over at the room. He sighed

“Come on Lou, Niall’s the same he’s not holding up too good either, it’ll do you good to get out yeah?”

“I miss him so much” Louis whispered

“So do I” Zayn replied pushing Louis off him. Harry looked down at the ground. It was his own fault in many ways.

“Can Harry come too?” Louis asked “Will Harry be there?” Louis asked

“sure” Zayn said hesitantly

“I’ll be there” Harry whispered to Louis as they made their way out of the flat, locking it behind them, Zayn and Harry taking either side of Louis.

“Zayn” Louis whimpered

“Shh, Lou” Zayn said, eyes fixed to the ground. They made it to Nialls and knocked on the door. Harry watched as the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Niall, clothes looking a little loose and an almost empty bottle of beer in his hand.

“Hey buddy” Zayn said

“Niall” Louis whimpered pushing into Niall and surrounded him in a hug that pushed him backwards. Zayn gave a broken and emotionless chuckle as he stepped into the flat that was extremely tidy.

“this place is spotless” Zayn said as Harry walked into the flat. Niall managed to get Louis off him and close the door. He nodded

“Yeah, haven’t wanted to mess it up since Liam-“ he trailed off and sat down, “I just don’t know what to do, nothing is the same anymore” He said his voice shaking.

“I don’t want to say good-bye tomorrow” Louis whispered

“It’s not truly a goodbye” Harry muttered into the silent pause. They all watched to ground as if expecting it to swallow them whole “If the memory is still strong in your brain, it’s never truly goodbye” More silence followed the answer until Zayn cleared his throat and sat down on Nialls over large sofa.

“I recon we should just” Zayn said slowly “Get a goodnight sleep, prepare us for tomorrow” 

“yeah” niall replied slowly, curling up into Zayns shoulder. Louis sat in one of the arm chairs and Harry fitted himself around him, causing Louis to shudder and close his eyes

“Night” Niall whispered

“I love you guys” Zayn whispered

“Me too” Harry nodded burying his head into Louis neck.

“I love you too” Louis replied

“same” Niall agreed and silence filled the room, a silence filled with mutual thoughts and worried minds filled the room, Harry ran his hands up and down Louis arms and kissed his head

“I love you Harry” He said almost incoherently, but Harry heard it and smiled

“I love you too, Louis” he whispered into Louis ear. Louis shuddered and wrapped his arms tighter around himself as they all settled in for a restless sleep full of nightmares and tragic re-enactments that had them jolting awake with sweat seeping through their clothes and hair damp on their foreheads.

When the morning arose so did the boys, each looking tired and jumpy. Not quite ready for what lay ahead. But somehow managing to pull themselves together long enough to get washed, dressed into black suits and look somewhere near presentable.  
They were all silent as they met Paul out the front of the building and slipped into the car, they were silent as they drove towards the church. They were silent as they took seats at the front of the ceremony with his parents who were crying desperately into tissues.

Flowers surrounded the grave, the headstone covered by a blanket. A large tree casting shade over the crowd, it wasn’t a huge crowd, the funeral being low key and all. But it was nice, for a funeral.

“We are gathered here today, not to say goodbye, but to celebrate the life of this boy. Taken from life too soon. He’d lived a happy life with four strangers turned brothers. With a loving family and fans across the world. We know he’ll never be forgotten”

“The service is so beautiful” Harry whispered to Louis

“I can’t do this” Louis shook his head, his knee bobbing as he whipped his hand along his trousers

“Louis, he’d want you to be here for him” Zayn sighed

“He would” Harry agreed

“It’s my fault” Louis cried sinking into his chair

“no it’s not” Niall whispered as the crowd was silently watching the coffin lowered into the ground. 

“listen to him, Louis. Listen to him because you can” Harry said. Louis closed his eyes

“Now, Louis you have a speech, is that right?” the vicar asked, and Louis stood up to awaiting eyes and Harry gave him a comforting smile. He walked to the front and paused. Looking at the crowd and the grave. Tears in his eyes.

“He was my brother from another mother as people put it” He said his voice shaking. Louis gave a tight smiled “But he was always more than that” He looked around at the crowed and then too his feet.

“I was always so adamant that we’d have forever with him. That I never took any-“ He looked up and stopped looking into the back of the crowd where a lone figure stood, eyes red and bags under his eyes as he made his way towards Zayn. Sitting down next to Harry and looking at the ground.

“You came” Zayn said in a monotone

“I couldn’t not. No matter what I said” Liam whispered. Harry looked back to Louis who was looking down at the grave,

“I never got to tell Harry that I loved him. I was on my way to tell him when the accident happened. He’d told me before, if I’d only told him the week after he’d still be here and we wouldn’t be sat here, we’d be celebrating his birthday. But, sometimes things don’t happen like that” he breathed out

“It’s okay Lou, you don’t have to explain” Zayn said standing up and walking over towards Louis and placing his hand on Louis tense shoulder, Louis was shaking, angry tears flowing down his cheeks as everyone looked on. Harry stood up and stood behind Louis hands on his hips, face buried into Louis neck and Louis shuddered. Harry knew that he could sense him. They’d always had a connection. He just hoped one day he’d get through enough to Louis that it was never his fault. It was Harrys fault.

“It’s not your fault and it never was, and I forgive you for never telling me, I know now and that’s made my all be it short life worth it” Harry whispered into Louis ear and Louis’ breath hitched and he looked behind him straight into Harrys eyes, not quite focused but Harry knew he’d heard him. Facing the front again Louis eyes met the grave stone.

Niall and Liam appeared either side of Louis and Zayn and wrapped their arms around each other. Although Harry had torn the band apart with Love, it was Harrys Love that was bringing them back together one step at a time.

“I love you, Louis” Harry whispered into Louis ear and was rewarded with a shudder and a whimper. He walked forwards causing the other band mates to drop their arms and watch as Louis walked over to the gravestone pulling the blanket off the top.

“This blanket is one of two. I have one, and Harry will forever have the other, no matter what. We said so when we bought them” He said bending down and leaning over the hole in the ground. Laying the blanket over the coffin.

“I love you, I always have and I always will. I know you’re watching over me, I can feel you. And I want you to know, that wherever you are now, I’ll join you one day and we will live together for eternity and we won’t mess up that second chance” Louis whispered. Harry knelt next to him and covered Louis hand with his own. Louis shivered once again and a small smile etched onto his face.

“When the sun goes down and the stars appear, when the time goes by year by year, we know that we’ll still be bound by love, even though you’ve been taken above” Louis whispered “I’ll never forget the bonds we shared, and I’ll always remember how much you cared, It’s going to be hard living through this hell, but I know that one day I’ll meet you again, my angel”


End file.
